Have you read the Sharkometer? From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. I have a confession: I think most shark movies are pretty bad!! They’re often poorly written, overly reliant on bad CGI or just downright boring. Does…

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Hello all! Things have been…bad. Real bad. The city where I live is currently being ravaged by COVID-19 because of ineffectual (and dipshit) leaders, people continue to be terrible en masse…

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Sharktopus by Declan O’Brien, 2010 Starring Eric Roberts, Sara Malakul Lane, Kerem Bürsin, Héctor Jiménez, Liv Boughnt Budget: Can’t find hard numbers, but probably around $1,000,000USD Box office: it’s TV baby! …

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Blue Demon by Daniel Grodnik, 2004 Starring Dedee Pfeiffer, Randall Batinkoff, Danny Woodburn, Josh Hammond, Christine Lakin, Jeff Fahey Budget: $650,000 (estimated) Box office: $650,000 (estimated) (one of these numbers is definitely wrong.)…

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Deep Blue Sea 2 by Darin Scott, 2018 Starring Danielle Savre, Rob Mayes, Michael Beach, Nathan Lynn Kim Syster, Jeremy Jess Boado, Darron Meyer, Adrian Collins, Cameron Robertson Budget: Unclear, but compared to…

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Red Water by Charles Robert Carner, 2003 Starring Lou Diamond Phillips, Kristy Swanson, Coolio, Jaimz Woolvett Rob Boltin, Langley Kirkwood, Dennis Haskins, Gideon Emery,Charles Dumas, Clive Scott Budget: I searched high and low…

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Shark Night 3D by David R. Ellis, 2011 Starring Sara Paxton, Dustin Milligan, Chris Carmack, Katharine McPhee, Joel David Moore, Donal Logue, Joshua Leonard, Sinqua Walls, Alyssa Diaz, Chris Zylka, Jimmy Lee…

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Santa Jaws by Misty Talley, 2018 Starring: Reid Miller, Courtney Lauren Cummings, Jim Klock, Carrie Lazar, Arthur Marroquin, Miles Doleac, Haviland Stillwell, Hawn Tran, Scott Allen Perry, Ritchie Montgomery Budget: Typically $1 or…

From the shockingly unwatchable to ridiculously good, the Sharkometer series dissects every shark movie according to the GOAT Jaws. Bait 3D by Kimble Rendall, 2012 Starring Sharni Vinson, Phoebe Tonkin, Xavier Samuel, Julian McMahon, Cariba Heine, Alex Russell, Lincoln Lewis, Alice Parkinson, and Dan Wyllie Budget: $20 million AUD Box office: $32 million…